| "We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old
because we stop playing!" ~George Bernard Shaw
"If you don't know how to die, don't worry; Nature will
tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She
will do this job perfectly for you; don't bother your head
about it." ~Montaigne
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
~Mark Twain
" The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several
times the same good things for the first time." ~Fredrich
Nietzsche
"A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more
than two hours working on his hair." ~Steve Martin
"All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd
be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they
are treating pregnant men." ~Issac Asimov
"Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded.
Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth."
~George Burns
"My favorite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days
hath September' because it actually tells you something."
~Groucho Marx
"Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time.." ~Robin
Williams
"Son, if you really want something in this life, you
have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce
the lottery numbers." ~ Homer Simpson
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson
is 'never try'." ~Homer Simpson
"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He
told me to quit going to those places." ~Henny Youngman
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am
a vegetarian because I hate plants." ~A. Whitney Brown
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to
complain." ~Lily Tomlin
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground
and miss." ~Douglas Adams
"I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection.
My yo-yo, it never came back!" ~Rodney Dangerfield
"Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians
seriously and the politicians as a joke." ~Will Rogers
"The reason why worry kills more people than work is
that more people worry than work." ~Robert Frost
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
happy." ~Benjamin Franklin
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